Why new years resolutions won't stick (unless...)

Read time : 4 minutes

Welcome to Wisdom Weekly where I help you become more happy, healthy and productive in around 10 minutes a week.

Today's Wisdom:

• Big idea: Why new years resolutions don’t stick
• Short lesson: Be → Do → Have (life on easy mode)
• Deep quote: The most effective way to get what you want
• Quick takeaway: Your "homework" this weekend
• Top video: (The $25k Challenge) Why I'm Betting On Myself for 2025

Big idea: Why new years resolutions don’t stick

How often do we get caught up in results?

• I want to make more money.
• I wish I was in better shape.
• I’d like to have a more enjoyable lifestyle.

We all want to improve deep down... whether we do something about it or not.

It’s unavoidable as a human being.

This drive to improve is our default setting.

Nothing is more painful than realizing we aren’t getting better.

No matter what we do, we will have the desire for more and better.

It can be bad if we don’t balance it with gratitude, but that doesn’t mean it is bad.

The biggest mistake we all make is focusing on the results, rather than who we are.

No wonder the results never come… or if they do, it’s hard as hell to get them.

Do you want to create your New Years Resolutions?

Let’s put life on “easy” mode for you.

Short lesson: Be → Do → Have (life on easy mode)

You ever heard of Be → Do → Have?

Be the type of person, so you can do the thing, and then you’ll have the result.

We get it twisted and think it’s Have → Do → Be.

• “Once I have more money, then I will save and invest it, so I can be wealthy.”
• “Once I lose some weight, then I will go to the gym, since I will be more fit.”
• “Once I have more time, then I will travel, and be more adventurous.”

It’s a broken way of thinking, and it leaves us unhappy with our results.

Everything is out of our reach when we approach life in this way.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits taught me:

“ If you’re looking to make a change, then I say stop worrying about results and start worrying about your identity. Become the type of person who can achieve the things you want to achieve. Build identity-based habits now. The results can come later. — James Clear

So how do we make the change? How do we update our identity?

There are 3 options we have when making changes:

A change in our outcomes, a change in our processes, or a change in our identity.

Option one: Change our outcomes.

This is the HAVE in Be → Do → Have.

It’s about our results: making more money, getting in better shape, and doing more cool things in our life.

We tend to set our goals, and get stuck focusing on this option.

Option two: Change our process.

This is the DO in Be → Do → Have.

It’s about our habits (behaviors) and systems (approach): working out each day, tracking our finances, and meditating to stay grounded.

We tend to build our habits, and stall out focusing on this option.

Option three: Change our identity.

This is the BE in Be → Do → Have.

It’s about our beliefs: who we think of ourselves as, how we view the world, and the way we relate to others.

We tend to set and forget this option… leaving us unable to make changes we wish to make.

To summarize, James Clear says:

In my opinion each option is necessary, but without focusing on our identity the other two don’t stick.

So, how do you put your life on easy mode?

First ask: “Who is the type of person that could get the outcome I want?”.

That’s who you’ll choose to BE.

Second ask: “What would that type of person do to get the outcome I want?”

That’s what you’ll choose to DO.

Third ask: “What results would that type of person have?”

These are the results you wanted in the first place. What you’ll HAVE.

Then all you need to do is prove it to yourself through the smallest, and easiest wins.

Want more money?

Identity (BE): Become the wealthy person who tracks how much they earn and spend.

Small and easy win (DO): Download an app for your finances. I use copilot (get a month free).

Result (HAVE): You’ll feel more confident and on top of your finances leading you to earning and saving more money.

See how easy this is?

Step by step, and day by day life becomes easy… and you BECOME the person that easily DOES what is needed to HAVE the results and life you want.

Deep quote: The most effective way to get what you want

Here's an easy summary to today's wisdom.

“ The most effective way to change your behavior is to focus not on what you want to achieve, but on who you wish to become — James Clear

Quick takeaway: Your "homework" this weekend

Ideally Today, or Tomorrow take 30 minutes to go through the exercise above.

Step one: Write out one thing you want to improve in your life right now.

Step one: Write out the thing you want to improve in your life right now.

Does it involve your body, mind, spirit, or bank account?

Step Two: Pick an identity that matches what you want.

“Who is the type of person that could get the outcome I want?”.

For my fitness goal I chose to become a Hybrid Athlete.

A hybrid athlete is strong, muscular, agile, conditioned, and capable… which aligns with my goal of being 200lbs and able to win jiu jitsu contests while deadlifting 500lbs.

Step Three: Choose a few action items to practice this week.

“What would that type of person do to get the outcome I want?”

A hybrid athlete would train with weights 3-5x a week, stay mobile, and do long walks or timed runs.

This week I am going to hit the gym 4x, do yoga on my off days, and take a long walk with my weight vest each day.

Step Three: See the results you will get through this process.

"What results would that type of person have?”

I see me being 200lbs with abs, strong as an ox, and able to run for miles with ease.

Now, all we need to do is prove it to ourselves through the smallest, and easiest wins.

Each day we practice our new identity is a step closer to the life we want.

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(The $25k Challenge) Why I'm Betting On Myself for 2025

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If you want to support me in my mission or consider joining The Activation Experience below.

In case you missed it: In Wednesday's letter I gave away my end of year reflections process.

You can read it here.